previously on Dumbgeons and Dragons.
Maybe we should check in with Leosin?
I guess. I mean, honestly, we need some direction about what we need to do.
Well, we need to go to the Wizards of the Thay.
Yeah, and we need to figure out how we're going to do that.
You make your way back up and into Leosin's chambers.
What do you know about Thay?
Oh, nothing. They're not good guys.
Yeah, I can't say anything really rings a bell.
It's a little unsettling when you go there.
The ones that are helping the Cult of the Dragon,
they are run by Wrathmodar, who was exiled by the Wizards of Thay.
Anytime you address someone, it is best to address them
with both their title and their name.
This is going to go great, guys.
It is, because I remember names really well, and I pronounce them impeccably.
Yes, you make it to the teleportation chamber,
Leosin, Lady Leral Silverhand, and Danai Ilmich.
And she begins a ritual.
You quickly arrive into a luxurious chamber,
and she leads you to three rooms.
Do you have any experience with souls being trapped in bodies?
My name's Fort.
I've been trapped in this dwarf's body for a while now, and a while.
Welcome to Dumbgeons and Dragons.
We're a D&D fifth edition actual play podcast,
and I'm your dungeon master, Russ More.
And with me today is Amy More.
Why I gotta be first?
I play Thea Amastasia.
And Karla Johnson.
The, what is it?
Golden bronze goddess, but not.
I play Nulara Moonbrook.
And Tom Laird.
Why I gotta be last?
And I play Flynn Firebeard.
Thank you.
I didn't say on theme.
I'm sorry, guys.
It's okay.
Well, it's okay.
We bookended you, bronze goddess.
Where is your tan, Karla?
Well, did you leave it in Mexico?
Did they make you leave it at the border?
You can't take that with you to Canada.
You'll make everyone feel bad.
Anything to declare?
No, I'll just leave my tan here.
I wasn't even allowed to get one.
I do have a tan for me.
I'm a very pale person, FYI, people who only know what I sound like.
So for me, I do have a tan, not really visible on Skype,
because I'm very good about facial sunscreen.
Oh, also, I was in Mexico.
Did I say that?
I feel like none of that made any sense.
I'm just talking about my tan.
I was in Mexico for 10 days.
Karla was in Mexico and now we're back playing games and very happy about it.
Very happy about it.
I missed my friends.
It was only two weeks, but it felt like so long.
I only got to play one other game during that time.
Oh, I'm sorry, Russ.
Right?
So much happened in that time.
It was forever.
I'm sorry that I forgot how to play.
Yeah, me too.
I'm apologizing.
The preemptive apology.
I love it.
Also, if we're just apologizing, I'm also getting sick.
So I don't sound the best.
I'm sorry for that.
It's that season.
I don't think I have much to apologize for.
I did play D&D the other night with my brother, his wife, and their daughter.
So maybe.
So you're fresh.
Yeah, there we go.
I'm ready to go.
I don't apologize.
That's good.
How un-Canadian.
I was going to say a strong anti-Canadian stance from Tom.
And a place where you can get even more apologies.
Try again.
That's true.
And a place where...
Segue master.
Waiting for it.
I gave you your things.
This is making the segue.
It's not happening.
Patreon.com slash dumb dragon cast.
It's sick knowing.
The ultimate segue.
Just jump right into it.
Just yell it out.
You can join us over there.
And we have a wonderful community of fab-fabulous people.
True, the best people.
The best people.
And when you are a patron of ours, you get a- you get an episode dedicated to you.
Like today's episode is dedicated to the lovely Eli McElveen and Sean Howard.
Thanks Eli and Sean.
You guys are awesome.
Now it might seem like we're doubling up, but they put their names all in the same thing.
Oh yeah, fair enough then.
Eli McElveen and Sean Howard, you know, they run those podcasts.
Alba Salix and The End of Time and Other Bothers.
The End of Time and Other Bothers is a great name for a podcast.
It is.
And they are very funny.
Super funny.
It is a funny one.
Their characters are great.
And you know what?
We're going to get to meet them when we go to PodCon in Seattle.
Because they're going too!
Which is like less than two months, you guys.
Yeah, I know.
Yeah, it's coming up real soon.
The only other check was to check Tom's audio.
But we've already done that, so we're good.
Yeah, I checked it before.
I even checked it while we were on Skype originally to see,
to make sure that Skype wasn't fucking with it.
And it seems fine.
And you know what?
Audio things happen.
We still put out some great episodes.
Apologies about the audio.
And now we're back to crystal clear Tom, which we're good talking about this so much.
And then, you know, when we get it, it...
Oh, it better not be bad when I stop this file.
Fuck it.
Let's play D&D.
Everybody remember where we were.
You guys can talk about it.
Yeah.
Say, we're in Thay.
We're in Thay.
We're in our theme room.
Badass theme room, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
We've got Arabian Nights happening.
Remember what your theme room feels like.
It's Arabian Nights.
I'm lounging on silk pillows.
There's just like oranges and pinks everywhere.
It's fantastic.
I'm pretty sure I've got like an elven theme going on, if I remember correctly.
Mine's very like northern and frost giant-y and like...
Hearths and fur rugs and whatnot.
Tom or Flint's was the very hardest for me to remember because I haven't edited that far.
And I was like, what the fuck was his?
And I had to ask Amy because it was like...
He went with like an elven tree thing.
I was like, oh, fuck.
He got desperate.
He was like, did you hear that?
I was like, oh, my God, I racked my brain and I couldn't find my notes and I didn't edit.
And then eventually I had to ask the other person who actually did the podcast.
And it turns out she remembered.
Oh, my gosh.
It wasn't a slight against you.
No, but I mean, come on.
It's a real good chance that I wasn't going to remember.
Because it didn't have to do with me and I'm super selfish.
It's a real solid chance, guys.
So you have entered your respective room's doors closed behind you.
Nigh Ilmitch said that she would call upon you when Tharchian Iseldra Yep is ready for you.
Flint!
And you are Flint right now.
Yes.
Yeah.
I remember that, too.
In your room, there is a...
In each of your rooms, but we'll start with Flint.
There is a table by fireplace with food and a pitcher of ale,
as well as a jug of water.
A note is left beside with a bell and the note says,
ring for service.
So your whole room is an elven oasis, a treetop village.
Very misty, very, very earthy.
Not what a dwarf would normally wish for, but you have.
That's right.
This is what you have.
So you've got some time, you've got some food, you've got some things.
What do you want to do while you're here?
I don't know.
Probably just relax.
I mean, the last few days haven't been harrowing, but they've been very busy.
Be nice to just take a break.
Sounds good.
You'll have a Kit Kat bar, et cetera.
There is a very, very comfortable hammock set up
in the main living space of this area that you are in.
Flint does love him a hammock.
Cue to a really funny little montage of him trying to get in the hammock.
Yeah, how high is it hung up?
It'd be hard.
Spinning and like arms and legs and like a big knot in the middle.
It's just high enough to be awkward.
Everything else in this room is perfect, except for the height of the hammock.
But that's what I really, really want.
He climbs a tree and doesn't fall onto the hammock.
Should I roll some sort of dex roll to get in this hammock?
Oh, no, we're just we're just leaving that in the minds of the people
just to see how well you do some of them.
In my mind, you're still struggling to get in.
Oh, yeah, it is.
The struggle is real.
You have a real good nap and you're done though,
because you will have earned it.
It's tuckered right out.
Sounds good.
All right, we'll leave you to struggle with your hammock.
Nulara, you are in this ice cave.
This frost giant's very reminiscent of a frost giant's lair there.
There are large polar bear pelts.
There's furs and very heavy thick fabrics laid upon the large bed.
As well, in your room, there is a very comfortable large chair
beside a fireplace and the same table of food,
pitcher of ale, and clean jug of water with the same note,
ring for service, with a little bell beside it.
What are you doing in this room?
I think probably first, I'm going to walk around and touch everything
like Carla does in real life when she goes places.
Carla's not fighting over anymore.
But just something that's so texture-rich,
if there are furs and rich velvets and things,
I'm going to want to walk around and pet everything,
see what feels nice.
I'm probably going to drink some water and eat some of that food.
And then probably also just relax,
because yeah, it hasn't been an exciting few days,
but I suspect there are some exciting times ahead,
so always best to relax while you can,
like in real life, when you should always eat or go pee
whenever you can, just in case.
So always a good idea.
That's good.
You do that.
You settle up in the chair, wherever you are comfortable,
and you start relaxing for a good long while,
and then you hear the dagger in your head.
Stuck at the mercy of the red wizards, are you?
Not a great place to be in.
Yeah, you're in a room very reminiscent of the region of Chult,
so very rich in satins and linens and all sorts
of very comfortable and desert and forest type things.
Lots of flowy robes and pillows.
Tapestries and just jewel tones.
All those things.
Golds.
Very rich plush bed.
Big massive fireplace.
Again, a spread of food and ale and water.
Same note, ring for service and a tiny bell.
What are you doing in this room?
Oh, Thea looks around and is just like,
she's like, oh, this is just exactly what I wanted.
And she immediately strips off all of her clothes
and crawls into the bed and just rolls around naked on the fabrics.
Because if you have all those rich fabrics,
you gotta get it all over your body.
And Thea is kind of a nudist a little bit.
She just likes, any time a door closes,
I believe she takes off her pants.
That's how I imagine her to be.
Similar to myself, right?
You get home after a day's work,
you're like, I'm not wearing real clothes anymore.
Only she just like full on goes buck ass naked.
It only took 64 episodes to figure that out.
Yeah.
That's good.
Yeah.
We knew she's like naked.
Character development, Russ.
Well, we don't spend a lot of times in fancy hotel rooms, Russ.
Unknowing how long you have in this room,
you have stripped completely naked.
True, someone could be in in five minutes,
but Thea's like,
this might be the only time I get to have in this bed.
Exactly.
I'm very much the way Nularaaa is thinking right now.
And Flint, if you have some time to relax,
just take it.
So I'm taking it.
Pants off, dance off.
There's no pants party here.
Back to Flint.
A knock comes to the door as you are relaxing,
chillax and all cool.
Am I shooting some b-ball outside of the school?
You might be.
Couple of guys who were up to no good
started making trouble in my neighborhood.
That's who's knocking on the door.
How long does it take me to get out of the hammock?
Roll for hammock.
Okay, I'm going to roll a straight up D20 hammock roll
and it's a 10.
I split the difference.
Dear, 30 minutes later.
No, I mean.
Wait, because what a success would have been 15 minutes?
I guess.
It's a tough roll.
No, it takes you, it takes you,
we'll say like 30 seconds of struggling,
good hard struggling to get out of this hammock.
But.
We hear the grunting that would be heard
from behind the door.
Like what kind of noise is Flint making?
Don't know what's going on in there.
They're like.
We'll come back, it's okay.
Long enough that there's a hesitant second knock,
so we'll say that.
Coming, coming.
And I go and answer the door.
You open the door to a pale faced human
who stands before you
and you see greens and blues blotched
all over the man's visible skin.
Cloudy eyes, he looks down at you
because he is much taller than you
as you open the door.
And he says, master fire beard or other soul,
you have placed a request for a certain ritual.
Oh, yeah, that would be the other guy asked for that.
But yeah, kind of.
We're curious of how to get this other dude
out of my head.
Yes, yes.
The great Zaz Tam has been approached
about your request and Zaz Tam can help you.
Zaz Tam has the power to grant all requests.
It's like imagining like kind of like the movie
Kazam or Shazam.
Zaz Tam.
What that would be like.
If he could say Zaz Tam after he casts
every single spell, that would be great.
It would be, sorry.
So Zaz Tam.
Yeah, let's, can I go see him now?
Is he coming here?
What do you have in mind?
He would, he would not see you particularly.
Oh, OK.
But he could grant you what you request.
The ritual involves removing the unwanted soul.
In this case, he looks down at you.
I believe the dragon borns soul and placing it into a new host.
Yeah, that would be great because I mean, I want Bort,
I want him to have somewhere to go.
I just don't want him to stop existing.
Well, hosts are plentiful here, aren't they?
Yeah, you guys are like a bunch of liches, right?
No.
Is that an offensive term?
I know.
I was like, is that racist in the world?
Are you undead?
It's like actually would prefer to be called like previously living.
I must have been misinformed.
I'm sorry about that.
There is but one lich, the great Zaz Tam.
I was going to say, is it Zaz Tam?
Yes, yes, it is.
Yes, souls, however, are harder to come by.
And I didn't mean it as like a pejorative.
You know the old saying, liches kill bitches.
That old positive saying.
Yep.
He has a very confused look on his face.
He says, I don't believe I have heard that one before.
Oh, it's all the rage back in and around Waterdeep.
He has a bit of a disgusted look on his face.
He says, yes, okay.
While Zaz Tam can grant you your request, he requires only one thing.
Okay.
We must be upfront about these things.
You and the unwanted soul will become a follower of the great Zaz Tam.
Wait, both of us?
You will aid him and his military in bringing down his enemies in Rathmodar,
as well as aiding in greater battles against enemies in Rashman and beyond.
Well, I mean, we're kind of doing our part to not let Tiamat rise.
Does that count towards my tally on the good side of things?
Zaz Tam deals in bargains, one for one.
So, yes?
I'm not opposed to the idea of helping him out,
just like we are busy with this other world-saving mission at the moment.
Yes.
I mean, I'm sure Bort would hop on board right away,
but I might need some time.
That's all I'm saying.
Just give me the time.
I just need the time.
The offer is only good as long as you are in Thay.
Okay, I'll think it over.
Just ring the bell for service.
And he turns and leaves.
Oh, it's not just food and drinks the bell will bring.
It's also soul removal bargains with liches.
It's amazing.
I was wondering about the service.
You close the door and get back to your hammock.
20 to 30 minutes later.
He'll get in and then someone will knock on the door.
Someone else will knock on the door.
Oh my God.
Back to Nulara.
The dagger has just said he's laughing at you.
Stuck at the mercy of the red wizards.
Are you not a great, not a great place to be?
Sweetie.
You want to be a star?
You want to be a star, don't you?
As if I couldn't eat the fucking dagger more.
Yeah, it's like a fucking creepy Hollywood agent.
Sleazy agent.
She's Estelle from Friends.
That's what it is.
Yeah.
Okay, gotcha.
Yep.
Oh, see, that's more, that's cuter.
Anyways.
Anyway, what do you know about here?
Have you been here before?
Oh, oh, yes, yes.
Me and the master.
We've been all around and we know exactly
what the red wizards are capable of.
And let me just tell you,
he could grant you so much power,
you would be able to deal with these cultists
really single-handedly.
Is that right?
What, and who's the master again?
What's his name?
Did you give me that before?
Feel like we haven't communicated one-on-one like this before.
It's been a while, at least a day.
But no, the master, I don't believe I did give you his name.
Yeah, I'm not sure if I'm supposed to give you his name yet.
Hold on.
Stupid tag.
Let me just send a quick email.
No, I don't think I'm supposed to give you his name yet.
When we're communicating, Russ,
are we like in my mind communicating
or am I actually speaking out loud?
You tell me.
Before he's like in my head, right?
He's definitely in your head,
but how are you communicating to him?
Are you talking out loud like Donnie would hear
or are you just verbalizing like in your mind?
Well, also wouldn't Donnie hear that?
He would hear that too.
So Donnie hears all, yep.
Donnie knows what's up.
You and your telepathic connections
with everything on your body.
I have an open brain policy.
Just anyone just wander on in.
To have a seat, make yourself at home.
Tell me they're nonsense or not.
About their master or not.
I feel like it would have to maybe be telepathically
because we were communicating before and he's like.
I don't know.
We've had scenes where you've been having
a conversation with it and people have reacted.
Heard me?
I think so.
Can people hear me?
Honestly, I just can't remember, Russ.
I can't.
We've already established.
I think if you're alone in your room,
though, maybe you're wandering around,
touching things, being like.
The last time you heard from the dagger
was when you hugged Thaddeus goodbye
and he was like, oh, just stab him a little bit.
But you didn't say anything in response to that.
Just stab him a little bit.
And then, yeah, I guess.
Yeah, you probably wouldn't know.
Maybe you wouldn't know if I'm trying to think of.
Well, because I don't think so,
because I don't think like others don't know
so much what's going on with me and him.
Yeah, there's only been a couple back and forths
and everything else is either him just talking to you
and you just disregarding.
So, yeah.
I don't think we know that the dagger is talking to her
because it told her that if she tells anyone
that she's talking to the dagger,
that it'll make her kill them.
Yeah, and I like can't ask them for help and stuff.
So, OK, so in my mind, although Amy is right
in this specific instance,
I could be talking a lot because I'm by myself in my room,
but what if?
So that was a no on the master's name.
Yeah.
It's a roundabout way to learn that that was a no.
Well, it's good to establish, though.
Yeah, yeah.
What does your master want me to do
other than stab my friends?
Well, now that now that you and I are here,
I mean, he has a stake in this battle,
just like any any other any other person.
Tiamat's return is not ideal for anyone,
obviously, as you know.
And after we see keeping her to, you know, her hell home,
the world would be ripe for a new ruler, so to speak.
And with you and me at the master's side
could all go very well for us.
I'm going to say you're not really like very forward thinking
because if what you want is to stop Tiamat,
you should not have me be stabbing my friends
who are actively trying to stop Tiamat.
Just saying.
Seems like we're on the same side right now.
That was a hindsight moment, you know, hindsight's 2020, OK?
See, what what I had come from was the cult of the dragon.
They wanted everybody dead.
And I was trying to work it from the inside, right?
Sure.
Whereas now you, it was a quick turn.
I was like, oh, these two people want to fight over me.
Who's stronger?
You won that one.
And then I said, look, I'm not going to kill anybody.
I am loving this dagger.
So maybe for a while in, you know, I'm not saying yes or no
to joining your master, but maybe just for the time being,
we could put an X-Nay on the stabbing of the friends.
OK, yes, 100 percent.
No stabbing of the friends.
However, there's this thing where I get a little thirsty.
So.
For blood, I'm assuming.
Yeah, blood.
Or can we just, you don't need to dance around it.
Let's just.
We need to get it.
Need to get a little.
Call a bloodthirsty dagger, a bloodthirsty dagger.
OK.
From time to time, that might need to happen.
Don't know where, don't know when, but I'll let you know.
It won't be your friend.
OK.
Unless, of course, we can't get the thing that we need
to make that go away at the time.
Then I can't be held accountable for what happens.
Hey, if I know the parameters I'm working with are
you need to kill something.
I can kill things.
I have no problem with killing things.
I just don't want to stab my friends.
I get it.
I didn't want to stab my friends either.
Fia, what are you doing?
You know, maybe the dagger went to dagger school, had to murder its dagger friends.
I know this is a thing.
There's probably a whole dagger back story.
Only the sharpest and strongest survive.
Exactly.
Two dagger enter, one dagger leave, et cetera, et cetera.
Fia, what are you doing?
I'm rolling around on my bed naked.
I've brought the tray of food onto the bed because walking to get food is for stupid people.
And I am just like, I'm just like on my bed like this.
The tray is in front of me.
I got my feet kicking up behind me.
I'm on my tummy.
I'm like popping grapes and whatever in my mouth.
I'm just having the best time.
A knock comes at the door.
Hello.
Yeah, yeah, yes.
Speak up.
I can't quite hear you.
Okay.
Usually people open doors.
You can open it.
You got arms.
Do you have arms?
If you don't, I'm real sorry.
I have one arm.
Okay, well you can use it.
The door slowly opens and you see what looks clearly like an
undead human enter the room and he slowly leans in.
And just nude, just doesn't care.
Well, I don't think I'd get dressed for it, but I'd be like, what do you want?
This is part of your disrespect.
Yeah, that's right.
Look at my butt.
You can't even deserve a clothia.
Oh, what?
Okay.
You can leave now.
Yes, slowly.
Nice butt.
Creeps back out.
Yeah, creeps back out.
Weirdo.
The butt wasn't a punishment.
Tia gets dressed.
This is the thrill of my undead life.
Bye.
Flint, you've just settled back into your hammock and a knock comes at the door.
I once again struggled to get out of the hammock.
Although I've gotten better at it.
It only takes me about 15 seconds now to get out of the hammock.
Sure.
In my mind, you just have realized that the most efficient way to get out
is the least graceful.
Like you can always get out of a hammock quickly.
It's just like-
Just lean.
Exactly.
It's just awkward and you might hurt yourself, but it's quick.
Roll for damage for falling out of the hammock.
I go hop back onto my feet after landing on the floor and I go answer the door.
You see a one-armed undead human.
He's got hair plastered to his face and he looks down at you and he says,
Nye Ilmich has sent me Tharchin Eseldra Yeth.
We'll see you.
Please ready yourself.
Okay.
Do I need my weapons or can I just go like this?
Because I'm ready.
The last door was naked.
So I'm way ahead of the game then is what you're telling me.
Yes.
You got a good 20 minutes.
Usually I'm the naked one.
Yes.
Um, I will knock on the final door and come to fetch you.
All right.
Well, I'll just go have some of this food and I'll even leave the door open.
Just yell when you need me.
Yes.
Enjoy the food.
And he turns and-
And I shoot him a quick high five before he turns and walks away.
He looks to move.
I go for like the other side that his hand isn't on though.
And then I'm like, oh, and I look all embarrassed and then go for the other side.
He just hangs his head, but then puts up his one hand.
Nice follow work.
Just a little aside.
Just a story because something like this very similarly happened to my brother.
So he used to work in a hospital, um, as a lab technician.
And one day he got into, he was waiting for an elevator.
And so it opened and he held the door for someone.
And he said, hop on in here.
The dude only had one leg.
So I think the equivalent of maybe getting a high five
from someone with only one arm and going for the wrong side.
Totally.
It happens.
D&D mimics real life.
Right.
Always.
Sometimes.
Constantly.
Can't tell you how many pieces of cutlery in my house are talking to me right now.
We're all very concerned about Carla.
She really needed that vacation.
I do spend a lot of time alone in my place.
So.
Carla, let's kill the hacky sack guy.
I'm sorry.
Is there a hacky sack guy?
Yeah.
Oh, is there ever?
Let's discuss that next episode's intro.
Oh, all right.
All right.
Stay tuned next week to find out about the hacky sack guy.
I'm very excited.
He is a treat.
Ah, New Laura.
You've just had this.
Your hat.
Your.
It's basically where we left off and a knock comes at the door.
Okay.
I go open the door.
And you see a one-armed undead human hair plastered to his face.
And he looks at you and he says,
Are you ready?
I'm ready.
Let's do it.
All right.
I do, like, gather up my things, but most of my things are, you know.
I should clarify.
I don't bring, like, my traveling pack and my, you know.
I grab my weapons and my, like, normal things.
As you're grabbing things, he's like,
You will return here before you leave if you need to leave anything in this room.
Okay.
Great.
And he goes and he knocks on Thea's door.
I open it on, like, the one knock and I'm fully ready.
All my weapons are on me.
He looks unimpressed.
So you want to see that butt again.
I just stare at him.
He keeps walking down to Flint's door.
Well, my door is open.
And I'm just standing in the door jam with a comically large wheel of cheese.
And I'm ready to go.
And he leads the way down the hall around a corner and down at the end
where you see Nye Ilmich.
And she is standing at a closed double door.
And she says,
Thank you, Edward.
And he bows to you and heads off down another hall.
And she says,
Tharchin Iseldra Yef is prepared to see you now.
Are you prepared?
Is there anything we need to know in advance?
Just be yourself.
Oh, that's not good advice.
You're going to regret that advice.
Yeah.
We discussed the titles, the use of titles, yes.
Yes.
So Tharchin is the title.
Tharchin Iseldra Yef.
I should really write this down.
I think I did and now my notebook is...
She waits for you as you begin scrolling on notepads.
Tharchin Iseldra Yef.
Got it.
Thanks, Nye Ilmich.
Of course, FlintFirebeard.
You enter a large audience chamber.
You see seated in the center on a large throne-like chair
a woman who is wearing elegant red robes.
She has very pale fair skin which gives the appearance of porcelain.
She has long braided jet black hair
and her eyes appear a deep amber.
Judding out over and pressing into her lower lip you see fang-like canine.
She is accompanied by ten red wizards and five whites.
As you approach she waits until you come to the front of the chamber
and she looks at you and she delivers what appears to be a prepared message.
She says,
We find ourselves bound in common cause against common enemies.
Those who sought to destroy us in ages past now seek to destroy you.
Our thirst for vengeance is strong as is your thirst for continued life.
Our enemy has become your enemy.
We know their weaknesses and the ways of destroying them forever
without destroying their usefulness.
You have the opportunity to discover their hiding places
in your struggle against their cult allies.
Together we can remove them as a threat to both of us.
Our agent Nye Ilmich will return with you to your city of Waterdeep
there to serve as our liaison to your council.
What you learn of the enemy she will relay to us by means of our own.
You need only find the enemy.
We will deal with them as is our custom.
I am authorized by our eternal master Zaz Tam to say these things for I act in his name.
Well, hello there! I'm your Dungeon Master, Russ More.
Thanks for joining us for episode 64 of Dumbgeons and Dragons.
Come out to Thay! Have a few laughs!
Before we get back to the intense negotiations that you know the adventures are going to bring,
we just want to send out a huge thank you to you for coming along on the adventure with us.
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Links for everything mentioned today can be found in the description.
And the next episode will be out Wednesday, December 5th.
Geez, we're in December, can you believe it?
This year is just going to use that cliche, and this year has really flown by.
Too much fun, too much excitement, too many things going on.
Speaking of which, let's get back to those negotiations.
Have a great week.
We'll talk soon.
So, you want us to find the exiles and tell Nihilmich where they are,
and she'll tell you and you'll help us defeat the Cult of the Dragon?
Am I paraphrasing correctly?
My lady.
Tharchinus Eldrieus.
She looks to Flint and says yes.
And how will you destroy the Cult in your own custom, Tharchinus Eldrieus?
She looks to you and she says-
Oh, she'll look at me.
Our concern is not necessarily with the Cult, but the red wizards
she has a disgusted catch in her throat.
The exiles who are aiding them.
Without them, their plan is void.
Okay.
Flint Firebeard.
Yes.
How long have you been tracking the Cult's movements?
Well, at this point, it seems like a lifetime.
Sorry, I can't be more specific than that.
It has been a long time.
Nularaaaa Moonbrook.
When was your first encounter with Wrath Modar?
I don't recall, Tharchinus Eldrieus.
Thea Amastasia.
What forces are joining the fight against the Cult of the Dragon?
In the fight against Tiamat, we have the Metallic Dragons on our side.
We have the forces of different armies and groups around Faerun, I guess.
General area of Faerun, I suppose.
Yeah, who are willing to fight with us.
The smaller towns themselves are even doing their best to drive them back.
If nothing else, it's really big community building.
It's really bringing everyone together.
Hmm.
People love a shared enemy.
What do you require from us?
Well, the offer of getting rid of the exiled red wizards is absolutely fantastic.
Because as you said, Tharchinus Eldrieus,
without them, they will not be able to do the ritual required to bring Tiamat.
However, there's a lot going on outside of that with the cult destroying villages and
recruiting other dragons that just whatever help you're able to offer
outside of what you are already prepared to do, we would not say no to.
Flint Firebeard, you are prepared to bring an undead army to your battle.
Would I be the one leading it?
No.
That's fine. I was just scared.
I mean, I am.
I have a big soldier background, so I wanted to make sure about that one.
Yes, I believe that we will take any help that we can get.
I have a question.
With this, I mean, the enemy of my enemy is my friend.
The Wizards of Thay have not necessarily been friends of Faerun before.
What is to stop you and yours from striking when Faerun is at its weakest with
armies of undead already in place?
It just raises a few red flags for me.
She continues to look at you, Flint, and says,
our issues and our fight is not with Faerun or the Lord's Alliance.
It is stopping Rath Modar and the exiled Wizards.
It is stopping Rashomon from crossing our borders and using our wellspring of power.
So this is more of a protect your own back by cleaning up your mess situation.
Rath Modar believes that bringing Tiamat to the material plane
will give him power and favor from the Dragon Queen.
That makes sense.
I mean, if anyone could bring her back, of course, she would look kindly upon them.
It makes sense to me that you would want to nip that in the bud before it were to happen,
because if he did gain power, I imagine that would be all sorts of headaches for
you and your Zaz Tam.
You are correct.
Rath Modar wishes to overthrow Zaz Tam,
to return Thay to what might have been a, in his words, more prosperous time.
But know that there is no other prosperous time than under our eternal master, Zaz Tam.
Rath Modar must fall.
Then yeah, I don't see a problem with us having the help of an undead army.
Is your one question for you, Tharchin Asseldry, yes?
Zaz Tam, is he good on his word?
The word of Zaz Tam is worth every life in Thay.
Okay, good to know.
Then how about the undead lives in Thay?
She does not regard your statement.
She won't stoop to your level, Amy.
Whatever, I just don't want to be held accountable for,
and I guess I'm saying this out loud too in the game,
I just don't want to be held accountable for, you know,
helping with the defeat and the rise of Tiamat,
and then also, though, bringing upon an army of undead to then, you know, it's like...
I have worries.
There is much to consider, Flint Firebeard.
We'll take it under consideration, certainly.
If there is nothing else, I shall ask you to return to your rooms,
and we will discuss matters to find our most effective capabilities
in this fight of yours and ours.
She stands up and the red wizards all around her stand up,
and unless anybody has anything else to say, she begins to walk out.
Everybody make a charisma persuasion check.
Ah, charisma.
Classic charisma.
I got a 14.
11.
16.
She walks out, followed by the wizards and the whites,
and Nye Ilmich walks up to you and says,
I will escort you back to your chambers.
Give us the straight goods here, Nye Ilmich.
How did that go for us?
On a scale from 1 to 10.
There is much deliberation that Tharchinus Eldrieith will go through.
She takes all things into account.
She has knowledge of much of the battle thus far,
and she will take all things said into account and make a decision by morning.
Okay, so not as bad as it seemed.
Will I die in my sleep tonight?
Just a question.
You are safe while you are here.
She leads you to your rooms where the doors are open,
and inside on the table where the spread was laid,
there's a new, very rich dinner left for you,
and says, I will return in the morning to let you know
what is to come of our alliance in this battle,
and she begins to walk away.
As she walks away, I say, thank you.
So I'm going to turn to my friends and I'm going to say,
okay, I got an offer on the table from Zaz Tam to get Bort out of my head,
and I'm not really sure of the finer details.
I need a little more clarification because it sounds like he wants me to join his army
if he helps me out, but I don't know if that's like an immediate thing
or if that can be a sign up later after we finish the Tiamat stuff.
What should I do?
Should I take the offer or?
Okay, well, hold on a second.
So he wants you to join their army, his army?
It wasn't very clear to me.
I think so.
And for how long?
It's a good question.
I'm not really sure.
Okay, well, I think, you know, maybe getting some extra details might be good.
What happens if you leave Bort in there?
One of you disappears entirely?
Eventually, yep.
Do we know which one?
I can't guarantee, I don't think.
Roll a d20 there, Tom.
I'm not wearing any underwear.
Music in today's episode was by Kavin MacLeod of incompetech.filmmusic.io.
Even less than that as of when this is released.
Okay, well then it's still accurate.
Yeah, whatever.
It is less than two months.
Well, I mean, technically, Amy, if you're talking about right now,
it's more than two months away.
Exactly.
But I was assuming that you were talking about when it was being released.
I also thought you were like, yeah, I was accounting for that.
Yeah, you were.
You nailed it.
I just fucked shit up.
All right, you're the one that has to edit it.
Yeah, it's true.
Let's have some less more magic on it.
And it never happened.
Exactly.
When Thorchen Esseldra yet, yet.
Thorchen Esseldra.
There's a lot of ss.
She opens the door.
And you see.
The page.
Something spooky.
Russ, would you say that Amber is the color of her energy?
Sure, yeah.
Oh, thanks, Carla.
I thought Russell's going to do it.
I was trying to wait.
Missed it.
It's a 311 song.
That dope 311 track that the haggis that guy like deaf listens to.
More teasing for the haggis that guy.
I love it.
On a build up.
The story better be good.
It's pretty good.
There was a quiz.
It was not revered for a quiz.
I feel like, yeah, you just got back from spring break
and the teacher drops a fucking test on you.
Right.
And there's a quick like I really need to like
enter all of my notes into like a word document
so I can search for keywords.
Control F.
Exactly.
Because like, I'm deaf have that in my notes.
Are we not living up to our end of things?
No, it's fine.
It's good.
It's perfect.
All this awkward pauses is exactly what I wanted.
Lucky.
You guys like, damn it.
Why can't I get that question?
Who the fuck's Rath Modar?
I don't know.
Russ made it up.
I think it's a Star Wars character that he dropped in.
George Lucas's rejected Star Wars character names.
No, that's fine.
You just give up on your own notes because you couldn't read that.
People are asking for this shit in Patreon.
I don't know why.
Guys, don't pay for that.
It's not that Russ can't read it.
It's that we're not giving him anything to work with.
I totally had the answer to that one.
You did.
Yeah, but he wasn't expecting that.
No, it's good.
And Rath Modar must fall.
Dumbgeons and Dragons is a Dumb Dragons production.